I forgot.

I was good, until I looked at you, and I looked at your outsides.  I was good, until I compared myself to you all, and to all of your “glitter”.  I was good, until I got dragged along by my tiredness, instead of dancing along with the gratitude I knew I felt waking up this morning.

I was good, until my mind convinced me that I wasn’t.  I was good, until my mind took me hostage and blocked me from acknowledging my own “glitter”.  I was good, until I got distracted and disconnected and allowed my magnifying mind to imprison me.

I was good.  I just forgot.  I forgot that I’m not those sales rolling in, because I’m only a year into a new career that my ego said wouldn’t take me as long as everyone else in company history to master.  I forgot that I’m not those pictures of rings and families and published books and beaches on Fakebook, but that I have my own castle I am building and perfecting each and every day.  I forgot that I’m not lost, and that I’m not needing to be found.

I just forgot.  And I forget a lot.  I forget that I’m just me, and that that is exactly who I am supposed to be.  I forget that there’s space for all of us, and all of our glitter, and all of our sales, and all of our outsides.  I forget that there’s room for you to be your best, and for me to be mine too.  It’s not your “body is hotter than mine, therefore mine is shit.”   It’s not “you’re successful, and I’m not.”  It’s not “your glitter is way bigger than mine” or even more relatable: “I have no glitter”.

I forget that this world is big enough for all of us to fit, at the same time, with all of our stuff. 

I forget.  So I’ll just keep asking you to remind me.

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