I’ve had several bad body image days, strung together in a succession of about 3 weeks now.  And just as I started to hit my boiling point, I decided to be brutally honest with my coaches, and 2 of my close running friends who are also females and talented athletes.  I have been sharing how […]

I’m about to ask for help from a professional in order to get my book out into the world.  And I’m scared. I’m scaredthat I’m not worthy of promoting my book at the level it deserves. I’m scaredthat I will be judged for trying to make my book bigger than a backyard social media sale.

35.  Once upon a time, that seemed incredibly old to me.  It was not only old, but out of reach.  As a drug addicted teen and narrowly focused girl, I didn’t expect to live, or want to live, beyond 27.  Thinking back on that makes me so sad, but also brings tremendous compassion to those

The last thing I thought about receiving from my broken leg and surgery was self-compassion, self-respect, and unconditional self-love.   I have to write out “surgery” because it created a very different scenery than just a break.  Not that breaking your leg, or any other part of your body isn’t enough, but I have to

This is stressful.  It is emotional, it is unnerving, and it is stressful.  It looks like I guess it should: headaches, which may or may not have something to do with not having EHT.  Not sleeping very well, then sleeping a lot and still needing more.  Brain fog.  Easily reacting to situations and feeling overwhelmed. 

I’m excited.  I’m terrified.  I’m nauseous knowing my boss is reading it right now, and that my mother soon will be.  The idea of my intimate self being out for the entire world wide web to see is mortifying.  I realize these are things you’d think of before releasing your innermost story to the wilderness,

What do we do when we can’t use our often taken for granted outlets to feel better?  What do we do when we can’t pacify with the things we never thought would be taken from us?  What do we do when the substances we once sought for comfort and refuge no longer provide that comfort

I read something this morning about my ego being bored because I’m too busy thinking about myself.  “To be egotistical and self-centered is to be bored.  If we are always the center of our awareness, we will soon tire of ourselves, since none of us is all that fascinating”. Oy.  It hit me hard, because

Uh.  This is real.  Not having a best girlfriend for real, is real.  (Name left out for obvious reasons) was it.  I told her everything.  We texted all day, every day.  We talked about clothes and tried them on.  We talked about food and made it and she never judged me.  We talked about fitness

I’m obsessed right now.  I’m obsessed with what I may or may not eat on Saturday night.  I’m obsessed with my running metrics and the fact that despite increasing my miles, hills and running, my watch is telling me that I’m fucking losing fitness and in recovery mode.  I’m obsessed with my heart rate while