Two Years

Being sober from food is tricky.  There are so many variations of what it looks like to be in recovery from an eating disorder, and those disorders are as varied as there are people.  Two years ago on June 18, 2019, I celebrated 2 years free from bulimia and an abusive relationship with both my […]

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Tahoe

As I mentioned in my previous blog, I enlisted some help for my A race in Tahoe.  For those that do not know, I am an amateur obstacle course racer and aspiring endurance runner.  I am still embracing the label “athlete”, because I go to great ends to do things right by my body and

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Down

It appears that I am on the other side of the pendulum, the down side.  I know it is just for this moment, and it is most likely the brunt of over-socializing and running around for a few weeks that my being is finally saying “enough”, and I was prepared for this in theory.  I

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Inventory

Recently I’ve re-engaged in the practice of writing an inventory on paper every day.  I used to do it at night as a reflective practice, then let it go and resorted back to my daily love affair with journaling.  It’s easy for me to chart my thoughts, my feelings and my interpretation of said thoughts

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Ragnar

It was a spiritual experience.  One I have been reflecting on for the last few days, tears brimming.  Not because of the one hour of sleep or the 32 miles logged or the insane storm we had that produced quicksand mud or even running in the middle of the night in the dark.  But because

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Validation

I used to seek it in a way that was unbecoming.  I’d post ab selfies and send them to everyone I knew, because I needed people to see how hard I was working and I was desperate for their approval of my physical body.  I used to triple ask whether or not something I did

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Old Ideas

I have so many.  They take their toll on me depending on what I’m experiencing emotionally, and in direct proportion my willingness to have a full experience.  Recently, someone and I were talking about the old idea of “suffering”.  The idea that things have to be hard in order for the reward to be valid. 

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