I used to seek it in a way that was unbecoming.  I’d post ab selfies and send them to everyone I knew, because I needed people to see how hard I was working and I was desperate for their approval of my physical body.  I used to triple ask whether or not something I did […]

Today, I feel human.  And not the kind of human we see on TV with a cape.  In fact, I feel like the kind of human you don’t ever see on TV unless it’s a soap opera or some kind of drama.  I feel exposed, raw, and vulnerable.  I also feel like fucking off to

I have so many.  They take their toll on me depending on what I’m experiencing emotionally, and in direct proportion my willingness to have a full experience.  Recently, someone and I were talking about the old idea of “suffering”.  The idea that things have to be hard in order for the reward to be valid. 

I DO ENOUGH.  Now is the time to take what God is giving me and RELAX AND TAKE IT EASY.  WE DON’T STRUGGLE. It is not true that the more I do, the better I am.  It is not true that the more I suffer, the more worth it it will be.  It is not

I keep falling.  Literally, onto my face, onto my hands, and onto my knees while on the trail running.  Or should I say, trying to fucking run. At first, I thought a rock got me.  It was the worst fall of them all and I was with people, so it was also demoralizing because I

The last time I got on a plane for a vacation with a man, I came back and sold my business.  It was grossly evident to me that I was overwhelmed, exhausted, and that my life needed to change.  So, I set out on a six month course to do just that, and haven’t looked

The thing about “what we want”, is that we don’t actually know what we need most times.  We don’t actually know what is best for us because we can’t predict the future and what it does, or does not hold.  This is true for me.  I get lost in the future and the past, and

When I write, I am either feeling something in the moment and it is calling me to put on paper, or I heard something that provoked further insight and compelled me to share with you.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed yet or not, but I’m transparent.  I’m raw.  My intention is to be as

In this instance, I don’t mean that you are witnessing a physical altercation and not moving a muscle.  I don’t mean that you hear someone insulting me, yet say nothing.  Coming off of a night surrounded by triggering foods and feeling isolated in my recovery from an eating disorder, I mean that standing up for

It’s true: it is my ego. It is me edging God out. It is me meddling and not trusting. It is me afraid. I don’t pick at Mike when I am trusting God. I don’t care what he’s doing when I mind my own business and ask God for help. I don’t walk around the