For the first time EVER, I do not hate my race photos. I have looked at them a few times and find it amazing how photogenic I am even when I have no idea there’s a photographer. I see my shirt tucked in and loose, and I see me posing naturally because it’s my “look […]
A Little Bit Softer Read More »
My disease hates when I’m happy. My disease hates when I stray from needing it to tell me my every move, validate my every thought, and rely on it for comfort. Especially when it has to do with my body, the food I put in my body, and people commenting on either or both. And
I feel damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. I feel exposed or hidden. I feel arrogant and seeking, or too modest and quiet. I feel confused and defensive, while simultaneously humbled and challenged. Because I forgot that I want to. In July my shin was killing me, to the point that I
It’s been a few days of total awareness. It started with a walk and hearing my anxiety gain an audible pulse. It started with the remembering of our date night shifting and the attachment that it must mean something. (Please read the actual text: shifting, not what my brain said: not happening). Then it
I still Need my Glasses Sometimes Read More »
It is hard to expose yourself day in and day out on social media, and I had no idea I’d have to. I wrote a book because I wanted to write a book. I wrote a book because I want to help people, and I believe my story can. I now know it’s going to
I Didn’t Know I’d Be So Naked Read More »
I’m being too healthy? What does that even mean? Somebody just said that to me in the elevator after I left the gym. Somebody else said that to me at lunch looking at what was on my plate- the same shit that’s on my plate at home. I have food in my bag in case