I forgot. I forgot that recovery – my entire life – is a continuous journey. I forgot that it is not a destination. It is not a place to reach or to graduate or to exceed. I forgot that it is not a permanent feeling, or look, or experience. I forgot. I forgot when I […]
I Found it in the Grey Read More »
It’s true: beating ourselves up for being human just makes it harder. A lot harder. It’s not my fault that I default to thinking I should’ve done something differently than I did. It’s not my fault that I default to thinking I am wrong, or unworthy, or out of place. It’s not my fault that
I’m calm. I feel balanced. I’m not in a hurry and I’m not attached. It’s somewhat new. I’ve been practicing hard. Not by choice at first, but willingly now. Life is grey, not black and white. Most of my life I have lived in the black and white. The all or the nothing. The best
I Want What I Have Read More »
I know the signs: fatigue, resistance, tiredness, repulsion. I know it because I lived it for many years, pushing it down until I could no longer deny how it felt. Many are obsessed with the idea that work must be filled with passion, purpose, and overwhelming love. Many are sold with the notion that you
I Don’t Need to be a Hit Read More »
“I had arrived”. That elusive idea that once I get somewhere or that once I achieve something, I will be complete. That elusive story that if only I could look like x, or feel like y, then I’d be happy. The chase to nowhere and the high to nothing. I lived that way for a
I just posted a video about body image, and the me that is learning how to filter and edit and hone my social media marketing craft wishes I had said something different than I did, but hindsight is always expensive. I had remarked that I thought healthy body image would produce an unconditional love for
I wasn’t always health conscious, or intentional about my health. I wasn’t always driven by a combination of loving nourishment and respect. I wasn’t always open and flexible and thoughtful. In fact, for a long time, I was the polar opposite. I was almost consciously unhealthy. I was only driven by aesthetic results that waivered
I Didn’t Get Here Overnight Read More »
Being on zoom all day has taken me to a new level of exhaustion. I can’t read body language. I can’t sense if someone is interested based on their energetic feedback that I am usually privy to in person. Sometimes, I can’t even see them and instead have to bite my tongue to avoid spewing
It is hard to expose yourself day in and day out on social media, and I had no idea I’d have to. I wrote a book because I wanted to write a book. I wrote a book because I want to help people, and I believe my story can. I now know it’s going to
I Didn’t Know I’d Be So Naked Read More »
I ran my programmed 52 miles last week, and it was a lot. I was tired. And I was miserable. And I lost my joy. I didn’t lose it because I ran 52 miles. And I didn’t lose it that week. And why I lost it is not my fault. I started riding horses